8.24.2007

It is truly better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool....

The following appears on TNR's "The Plank" blog today. I am enclosing the full entry (and will take it down if asked) because they don't allow you to "permalink" to individual entries:

[ warning - strong language ] [ EDIT - Thanks to HRH JSR for passing this on.]
FRIDAY COLLEGE GRUDGEBLOGGING:
Since Jason takes every opportunity to bash the rival of his favorite school, I don't see why I can't do the same. Radar Magazine has a feature on America's Worst Colleges. Unsurprisingly, the first entry on the list, in the category of Worst of the Big Ten, is Michigan State University. Helpful facts included:


Much of its student body seems to be in jail. More than 1,000 students were arrested for drug and alcohol offenses in 2005

and:


School Pride: "If I hear 'show your tits' one more time I'm going to scream--I got 'em and I ain't showin 'em to you bozos," complains a recent graduate on Students Review.

Perhaps the best part was this outraged--and, warning, highly profane--objection by a reader:


Let me just say to whatever cocksucking pansy wrote this review that he has no fucking idea what he is talking about. Drugs, alcohol, sex, and violence, in a beautiful campus setting, makes for pretty damn good education in my book. I am sorry that we aren't some liberal art school where the biggest problems facing male students is how to come out to our roommate and convince him to let us go down on him. Or maybe some west coast, hippie, save the fucking whales, follow phish, do-gooders that want to complain about this country all day instead of doing something about it. Let me tell you something; Every Spartan I know is better suited for the real world because they had a social life AND finished their degree. So when it comes time to have a drink with the boss and maybe score points, a Spartan might be able to talk about more than the oppression of little tribal island that nobody gives a fuck about. Furthermore the arrest statistics should take into effect the size of MSU (45,000 students), but that doesn't matter. Know why? SPARTANS LIKE TO GET ARRESTED!!!! It is a rite of passage! The 3rd best Halloween party at MSU every year is in the East Lansing Jail. As for drugs? This is fucking college! I did enough drugs to kill an entire tribal island during college. Screw you! Bitches like fucking on ecstasy, and we help them do that. And I don't care what you say..... Nothing is sexier than a coked up, drunk sorority slut. So who is the best? Michigan? Michigan girls drive to State to get fucked in the ass on a daily basis. Oh and by the way.... I have been to jail, for a while. So when I find who you I am going to fuck you in the ass. I hope you are a guy. Stay the fuck out of East Lansing.

Of course, it's not entirely clear if this comment is a parody, but unless things have changed a lot since I left the state of Michigan, I'm guessing it's legit.

--Jonathan Chait

posted 2:40 p.m.
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1 comment:

David said...

That is hilarious.

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