1L Year.

Saira Rao captured what many first year law students are feeling - that mix of breath mints and bile accompanying their first foray into the socratic roulette:

You’re officially a 1L — how exciting! Law school isn’t nearly as scary or stressful as many would have you believe. There’s nothing to worry about– especially not exams — you’ll do great. It’s not like grades are dispositive anyway. Wait, you don’t know what dispositive means? That’s okay — it’s nothing copious case outlining can’t fix. Oh, you aren’t familiar with outlining? Just ask someone in your study group. Nobody has asked you to be in a study group? Interesting . . . no,no that’s nothing to panic about either. Success in law school is really a totality of the circumstances sort of thing. There’s always class participation. You stuttered — and cried? — when your Property professor called on you? That’s okay — Property is scary. So are law professors. Crying is nugatory. And not dispositive of anything. The only thing that really matters is a healthy drinking habit. Well that and Bluebooking. No, no the Bluebook is slightly different from notebooks with blue covers — oh you bought ten of them. You know what — just concentrate on the sauce. The legal profession boasts more alcoholics than any other profession. If you’re going to be a full-blown drunk by the time you’re a first year associate, you really need to start training now. That’s really it. Oh, and go to class. It’s not like any of this is mutually exclusive. Or dispositive.

See it in the WSJ law Blog.